Foster Parenting:
Helping a Child in Need
Foster parents provide a safe temporary home for someone else’s child while the birth parent/s is receiving the help that they need. The children in foster care come from all socioeconomic backgrounds, races, and family compositions. The one common thread is that they are either abused, neglected or both. Neglect may be failing to take care of their basic needs, educational neglect or medical neglect. Abuse may be physical, sexual or psychological. If children cannot remain with their parents, efforts are made to first place children with a relative. Efforts are also made to keep siblings together.
Foster parents may be single, married, partnered, or related to the child. They must be over 21 (unless related) and a resident of the state of Rhode Island. They must have a valid driver’s license and pass state and federal background checks, a Child Protective Services check and a medical examination. They also must complete training on foster parenting, a home study and meet other qualifying criteria. There are several forms of foster parenting such as: respite care, kinship care, full time care, therapeutic care and foster to adopt care.
Foster parents receive a monthly stipend from the state, have the medical expenses of the child covered, have a support system of social workers, receive on-going training and are invited to attend social events. Funding for day care may be provided to working parents. The foster parent/s is provided a worker who conducts home visits and offers a constant source of knowledge and support.
The decisions to reunify a child to their birth parent/s or guardian rely heavily on the court. It was reported in a recent article in the Children’s Voice that in the year 2002, 51% of the children spent less than a year in foster care.
Parent/s that commit to making the necessary changes in their lives have their child/children returned to them. Foster parents give birth parents an opportunity to work on their issues with the goal of having a better life for their child/children. The day of reunification is a celebration not to be forgotten. Every child has a right to a safe, nurturing environment. Every child has a right to flourish physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. All of us have an opportunity to help children. Foster parenting is more than helping a child -- it provides hope to their family.
Joyce LaFrance Tormey, Children’s Friend. 401-276-4318
Many young children worry. Some young children worry so much that they start to have problems with school, friends, or at home. When worries become upsetting and difficult to get rid of, and children begin to perform certain rituals to reduce their distress, it may be obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD. It is estimated that around 2 children out of 100 have OCD, which means that several children in your child’s school may have OCD. In children, common obsessions, or intrusive and distressing thoughts are fear of dirt, germs, or getting sick; worries about personal safety or the safety of parents; concerns about doing the right thing; and continuous doubting. Common compulsions, or repetitive acts to reduce distress, are washing, touching objects in a certain way, checking things, counting or doing things a certain number of times, doing things over and over again, and lining things up a certain way.
The good news is that there are very helpful treatments for young children with OCD. When worries and OCD symptoms start to get in the way of a child’s activities, home life or enjoyment, treatment can be helpful before these behaviors become engrained habits. These treatments usually have a few different parts, including educating the parent on OCD symptoms, teaching the child to “boss back” against OCD thoughts, making a detailed map of OCD symptoms, and helping the child gradually face situations that they fear. Because young children rely so much on their parents, it is especially important that parents understand and can make use of the skills learned in treatment.
OCD is a relatively common problem among young children. When OCD symptoms start interfering with a child’s enjoyment, friendships, family life, or schooling, treatment may be helpful. Treatment of OCD in young children generally involves significant parental involvement, such as providing the parent with tools to help them when their child is experiencing OCD symptoms. While young children may have difficulty learning skills for when they experience OCD, with help from their parents, they can learn to handle their worries.l
Molly Choate, Jennifer Freeman, & Abbe Garcia, Pediatric Anxiety Research Clinic, Bradley-Hasbro Children’s Research Center and the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University
The Stress Of Parenting
Being a parent can be one of life's most joyful and rewarding experiences, but there are times in everyone's life when the demands and hassles of daily living can cause stress. "It's a common problem for parents to feel stressed," says Alan S. Jacobson, Psy.D, director of Child and Family Services at The Providence Center. According to Jacobson, "too much stress can affect our ability to be patient with our kids, stay involved in their lives, and remain attentive to their needs."
When feeling overwhelmed, Jacobson suggests the following tips for parents to reduce stress:
Take a Parenting Inventory
Take a personal inventory to look for ways stress may be affecting your relationship with your kids. How do you parent differently when you are stressed? Do you have less patience? Are you less likely to offer homework help? Do you over-punish, or, on the other hand, are you too permissive?
Remember the Three A's
You may be able to reduce your outside stressors by remembering the three A's of stress management: Alter, Avoid or Accept. Are you able to avoid an unpleasant task at work when you feel your stress level building? Is it possible to alter your schedule to ensure that stressful tasks are spread out during the week? Are you able to realize that the stressors in your life will come and go?
Try to Let Small Stresses Go
Many small stresses tend to have more of a detrimental effect than one large one. When it comes to parenting, work, or social relationships, try to notice when a small event is bothering you too much, and try to let go.
Make Time for Yourself
Your days may feel shorter when trying to squeeze in all of the demands of parenting, but don't forget to make time for yourself. Think of it as giving yourself a time-out! Try exercising or getting involved in a fun activity like basketball, soccer, or any other sport you enjoy, get a babysitter and go out with friends, have lunch outside the home or office with a friend, practice relaxation or yoga.
Take Mini Stress Breaks
Every hour or two, stop what you are doing, take a deep breath, relax your body, and think a relaxing thought. You might remind yourself of an upcoming vacation, remember a favorite memory, or think about a favorite joke. Try to realize where you "hold" stress on your body- many people tense their forehead, shoulders, back of the neck, or stomach. Make sure to relax that area.
Have Fun
Parenting can be fun, but creating that fun will take some effort from you. Rent a funny film, show humorous family movies, or do a fun activity together. It can really help reduce underlying stress when you realize how much joy you can all share together.
These are just a few tips that may help you parent the way you want to, without being overly affected by stress. However, if you think you are under significant stress and might benefit from talking to a professional, do not hesitate from seeking help from a therapist.
For more information call The Providence Center at 401-276-4020 or visit www.providencecenter.org.
Choosing a child care setting for your child can be one of the most important decisions you make as a parent. There are different kinds of child care settings available, including child care centers and family child care homes. It can be very difficult to decide which setting would be best for your child’s growth & development. When evaluating a child care setting, be sure to do the following ...
Look:
Is the appearance of the child care setting clean, safe & child-friendly?
Are there enough toys and materials for all the children?
Are there colorful materials displayed, including children’s artwork?
Are books and toys well organized & stored within children’s reach?
Do caregivers appear interested in the children?
Listen:
Do you hear a lot of crying?
Do children sound happy?
Are caregivers talking to the children.
Does the child care provider have a pleasant tone when talking to children?
Is the child care very noisy?
Ask:
Is the child care program accredited?
Are caregivers willing to respect the individual needs of your child?
Would you be welcome to drop in at any time to visit your child?
How do caregivers ease separation issues in young children?
What is the turnover rate for families? Why do they leave?
Is there a parent advisory board so that parents have a voice?
Remember:
Your child should feel comfortable in the child care setting.
Visit the child care setting more than once before making your decision.
Bring your child every time you visit the child care.
Let your child meet with the caregivers and the children in the daycare & explore the environment.
Does your child seem to have fun in the classroom?
Is your child interacting well with the caregivers and other children?
Choosing a child care environment that suits the needs of both children and families can be very rewarding. Be sure to take the time to decide which child care provider would be right for you and your family.
If you would like more information about choosing a day care, please contact the Health Information Line. 1-800-942-7434
Getting To Know Your Public Schools
To All Friends of Education ...
We have a simple motto at the Rhode Island Department of Elementary and Secondary Education: “All kids, all schools.” By that we mean that all children can learn - and all schools can be safe and healthy places for learning.
Those principles are affirmed in our mission statement:
“The mission of the Board of Regents and the Dept. of Education is to lead and support schools and communities in ensuring that all students achieve at the high levels needed to lead fulfilling and productive lives, to compete in academic and employment settings, & to contribute to society.”
I am pleased to say that we have been making steady progress toward our goals. This year, for the second year in a row, we had excellent results in our state testing. Since 2005, our reading scores have improved by 6 percentage points and our mathematics scores have improved by 4 points. Over this three-year span, we have seen improvements in every grade level, among all student groups (including minority students and low-income students), and in virtually all school districts. In addition, we have embarked on an ambitious project of high-school reform, which requires that all students demonstrate, through such means as a senior project or an electronic portfolio of their work, that they have reached proficiency in six core subject areas. This new diploma system, which has drawn interest from around the nation, goes into effect for this year’s senior class, the Class of 2008.
We believe that parent involvement is a key factor in helping schools to improve, and we believe that accurate knowledge about the public schools is a key to parent involvement.
The good news for parents and other Rhode Islanders interested in education is that there’s a tremendous amount of information readily available on all of our public schools. You can use this information to learn more about our public schools and to help you make an informed decision in selecting the right school for your children:
•Every year, we publish a detailed report on education in Rhode Island called Information Works!, and we also publish a “report card” on every public school and school district in the state. The school report cards include test results, socioeconomic data such as poverty rates, and other data about life in the school, such as attendance rates and suspension rates.
•On our Web site, we publish results of state tests, a compilation of state standards – what students should know and be able to do in all subjects at each grade level, and we publish our interactive Statewide Curriculum.
•Every school holds an annual School Report Night, during which the principal and other educators discuss the school’s goals and achievements with members of the community; often, the school report card is distributed on this occasion.
•We conduct wide-ranging surveys on teaching, learning, and school climate in each school, and we publish thorough reports on each school in the state based on week-long visits by a team of educators. These surveys and reports, called the SALT Survey and the SALT Visit Team Report, are also available to the public. Information from the SALT survey is included on the school report card. (SALT stands for School Accountability for Learning and Teaching.)
•We compile the Rhode Island Educational Directory, which has telephone and contact information on all of the state’s public and private schools.
•Through a program called In$ite, we collect and publish financial data that shows how money is spent in each school—how much is spent on teacher salaries, how much on technology, how much on classroom materials, and so forth.
•Annually, as part of the process of determining school-performance classifications, we identify schools that are in need of improvement.
I encourage you to read more about our school-improvement work and our high-school reform initiative on our Web site.
As you learn more about our public schools, we hope that you will become active in school life. Every public school in the state, by law, has a “school-improvement team,” which must include both parents and teachers. These teams set goals for the school and can be involved in any number of policy discussions at the school level. Joining a team is an excellent way to help our children by helping their schools.
With the support of parents and other friends of education from around the state, we hope that we can continue to be proud of our schools & our students.
Sincerely,
Peter McWalters, Commissioner of Elementary and Secondary Education
Your Child and the Emergency Room
When should you take your child to the emergency room (ER)? When
should you just wait for a return telephone call from your pediatrician
or family doctor? That dilemma crops up often for many parents.
Although it's difficult to give hard-and-fast rules for this problem,
we can give some important considerations to keep in mind.
The emergency room is supposed to be used for what its title implies
- an emergency - something which needs to be dealt with immediately,
could not be handled as well in some other environment, or is
actually life-threatening. Unfortunately, it is very often not
used for these purposes. Some people use it for convenience; they
don't have a primary care physician so they use it for whatever
problems arise, from the most minor to the potentially serious.
Other people use it because they think the problem that faces
them is serious and does require the services of the ER.
We can't do much about the first group. That's a long-standing
social issue. However, the second group can be helped through
education of what truly constitutes and emergency and what does
not. Perhaps the best way would be to go through some common reasons
why parents seek medical aid for their children and what would
be the appropriate action.
By far, the most common cause for concern is the issue of fever.
That usually is the cause for the vast majority of calls a pediatrician
receives and is the cause for countless ER visits. The reality
is that fever in itself rarely necessitates a visit to the ER.
Indeed, most cases don't need medical intervention at all other
than advice. Fever, even very high temperatures like 105l F ,
doesn't cause brain damage. The main concern when fever is present
is to determine whether the cause of the fever needs treatment
or not. This can usually be handled by the primary care physician.
An emergency room visit would be justified if, in association
with the fever, the child appears extremely ill, with symptoms
such as difficulty breathing, severe lethargy, very poor color,
etc. In other words, the child appears so ill that waiting for
a return telephone call from the doctor would be dangerous. That's
when an ER visit would be appropriate, and not because the child
has had a 102 or 103 fever for a day and now it has hit 105. The
degree of fever is not the issue; it's how the child is acting
in general that determines whether an emergency exists.
Surveys have shown that a substantial proportion of people visiting
an emergency room simply don't need to be there. And most of them
really wish they weren't. Comments like "I had to wait forever"
or "The place was like a zoo" are commonplace for people who have
had an emergency room experience. The fact is their problem could
probably have been better handled by their own primary care physician,
either over the phone or in an office setting. An emergency room
experience can be a source of significant anxiety for a child.
Parents need to consider this as well. And the best way to know
is to simply call the doctor before rushing off to the ER.
Another factor to consider before going to the ER is the issue
of managed care health insurance. Many parents are involved in
these plans and need to know the circumstances under which these
companies will pay for an emergency room visit. If, after all
is said and done, that ER visit, in the judgment of the insurance
company, did not constitute a true emergency, the patient will
be responsible for the hospital bill. In many cases, that could
amount to hundreds of dollars, for something which may turn out
to be a minor viral illness. Again, it's always best, if time
allows, to call the doctor first before making that ER trip.
So, having discussed the reasons not to go, what types of problems
would be appropriate for an ER visit? Probably the most common
would be trauma, especially instances in which X-rays or suturing
of a laceration might be needed. Another common example would
be head injury, especially if there was any degree of unconsciousness.
Fortunately, most head injuries are minor and don't need hospital
evaluation. So if the child is alert and is just upset with a
big bump on the head, it would be best to call the doctor before
heading off to the hospital. Breathing difficulties comprise another
reason. If a child appears to be breathing rapidly, is short of
breath, or is struggling to take in air, an ER visit would be
the correct action. Another reason would be to evaluate and treat
possible dehydration. Children often get intestinal viruses in
which the vomiting and diarrhea are so bad that the child can't
keep up with the need for fluid orally and might need intravenous
fluids in the ER. Signs that would make one suspicious of dehydration
include a marked decrease in urination, dry lips and mouth, sunken
eyes, and a significant decrease in the child's activity level.
Another gastrointestinal issue which might warrant an ER trip
is abdominal pain. This is a common symptom in children which
usually has no serious basis but occasionally needs hospital evaluation.
The pain in these circumstances is very severe and constant, not
just coming and going. It causes the child to be doubled-over
or unable to stand or walk straight up. The children are usually
vomiting in association with this type of pain. In these situations,
an ER visit is often necessary to rule out problems such as appendicitis
or other serious intestinal problems.
These are just some examples of the types of problems that would
need an ER evaluation. These conditions are usually very intense
in degree of discomfort or pain. They usually need diagnostic
tests or treatment which often can't be adequately performed in
the doctor's office. It's still best, if time seems to allow,
to have the advice of the primary care doctor before going to
the ER. If time doesn't allow, the ER is your best choice.
Richard G. Greco, M.D., F.A.A.P.
Dr. Greco has been a general pediatrician for over twenty years
and currently has a private practice in pediatrics in East Providence,
RI.
Bioterrorism
Rhode Island, like other states, is preparing to respond to a
potential bioterrorism event. Although the chance of bioterrorism
is low, the health and safety of all Rhode Islanders is our primary
concern. As part of our preparation, we're providing every Rhode
Island household with some basic information on bioterrorism.
What is bioterrorism?
Bioterrorism is the intentional use of harmful biological substances,
or germs, to cause widespread illness and fear. Smallpox and anthrax
are examples of substances that could be used for bioterrorism.
What is Rhode Island doing to prepare for a possible bioterrorism
event?
The Department of Health is training doctors and hospitals to
identify, treat, and prevent the spread of a disease caused by
bioterrorism. For example, a group of healthcare and public safety
workers are being vaccinated against smallpox. If a smallpox outbreak
were to happen, these healthcare providers would be able to respond
quickly. The Department of Health is also training cities and
towns so they are prepared to respond to an emergency in their
communities.
What can I do to prepare for a possible bioterrorism event?
The best thing you can do is be prepared to check for instructions
on local television and radio and in newspapers. In the event
of a bioterrorism emergency, the Department of Health will coordinate
with all major news media to let you know what to do.
Since bioterrorism is not like other types of terrorism (e.g.,
bombings), instructions will vary depending on the nature of the
emergency. You can prepare as you would for any other emergency
by making sure you have adequate food, water, and medications
at home. You should also make plans for contacting your family
if you become separated.
Visit our website at www.healthri.org or call 1-800-942-7434 for more information.
Hearing/Speech Impaired, Dial 711 (TTY)
Raising Resilient Children and Adolescents
by Margaret Paccione-Dyszlewski, Ph.D., Bradley Hospital
Raising youngsters in today's world can be exciting, terrifying,
rewarding and disappointing, all at the same time. As parents,
grandparents, uncles, friends, teachers and other adults we are
struck by the complexity of our society.
Helping children and adolescents avoid some of the pitfalls of
their environment presents quite a challenge. Substance abuse,
school failure, negative peer influences, alienation from their
community, indiscriminant sexual behaviors, gang activity, and
school violence are just a few of the risks awaiting our youngsters.
Are there things that we can do to help buffer or protect our
youngsters from these risks? Some of the answers to this question
are contained in a body of research conducted in great part by
the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
of the Department of Health and Human Services. This research
is called the prevention literature, and it contains a vast body
of information on the causes of youthful problem behavior.
The ability of a child or adolescent to protect themselves against
the risks of our society is called resiliency. The more a youngster
is able to guard against risk, the more resilient they are said
to be. Risk and protective factors may vary considerably according
to a youngsterís age, psychological development, ethnic/cultural
identity and environment. However, research has shown that there
are a number of factors which contribute to resilience in young
people which tend to apply to the vast majority of youngsters.
The most significant factor contributing to resilience is a strong
relationship with a parent or caring adult who provides a nurturing
environment early and consistently. In addition to parents, here
is where other warm and caring adults in a mentoring role can
make a real difference in the life of a child. Grandma, Coach,
Big Brother, Reverend, Auntie - this job is for you!
A second factor is the feeling of success and sense of mastery
that comes when a youngster can become proficient at something
of interest. Mastery of a skill enhances self respect and self
image. There has long been a common sense awareness that childrenís
time should be meaningfully filled and that it benefits kids to
be given a wide range of opportunities to develop skills and have
positive experiences. Why not encourage scouting, the chess club,
music lessons, organized sports or baking cookies?
Factors that help build resilience are:
*Social skills, including good communication and negotiating skills
and the ability to make good decisions.
*A supportive network that includes family, school, and community.
*Problem-solving and thinking skills that help generate alternatives
and solutions to problems.
*Hope that odds can be overcome with perseverance and hard work.
*Surviving previous stressful situations. Each time a young person
masters a difficulty, that experience helps her or him face the
next difficulty.
Taking Care of Yourself First
Do you gasp when during the pre-flight safety videos, the attendant
instructs you to "put the oxygen mask on yourself first before
aiding your child?" Logically, it is sound advice. Emotionally,
however, it would seem to be the greatest hurdle of parenthood.
Women mostly need to tend to others first. Mothers always put
their children first. Instinctually, we gather our resources -
to give give away.
Today, more than ever before, women are overburdened with demands
on their time: obligations to be met, overwhelming workloads and
never-ending lists of things to do - for the children, for the
job, for the home. In order to build the stamina to meet these
incredible demands, women do need to oxygenate themselves first!
The challenge is knowing how.
Most all of our actions are time-sensitive. Who has the time to
soak in the tub, basking in a glow of aromatherapy candlelight?
Who has the time to sit through a manicure and really let the
Oh-So-Red polish dry? Who has the time to find the aspirin bottle
when a headache has a grip on your thoughts? Learning to say no
may find some time, but the guilt that comes with it takes time
to resolve. "I'm too busy" is today's mantra. So, what's a woman
to do? To oxygenate yourself, you first need to find the time!
Once found, you then need to make glorious, tough, selfish decisions
on spending it!
Finding the time ...
1. Get organized. Find a good book, magazine, or article that can help you de-clutter
your home and your life. Think about the minutes turned into hours
that you spent stashing away stuff then searching for stuff -
yours and everyone else's. Discarding is liberating and invigorating.
(A place for everything is the place that you can find it easily).
2. Simplify. Get back to basics. Making lunches on Sunday night for the week
buys many minutes each morning. Doubling a menu to freeze half
will soon stock your freezer with read-aheads for weeks to come.
Ensembling in the morning is easy for moms and kids alike with
fewer choices. (Less time for decisions gives more time for action.)
3. Release. Nothing in life is perfect, except perhaps the first 15 minutes
or so in the morning if you arise before everyone else. Prioritize
the absolute need to do, abandon the I should do, ignore the "everyone
else's Mom does ... and plan your schedule to accomplish the necessary
tasks. (Five minutes saved each waking hour means at least 45
minutes a day to bank for you to spend.)
Spending the time ...
1. Invest in the long haul. First and foremost, be sure to spend some of your found time
having your annual checkups, mammograms, Pap Smears and other
health markers. Maintaining your own health first and foremost
will provide the oxygen and stamina you need to meet all that
is demanded of you.
2. Strength, not stress. Keep the stress at bay through Yoga, Reiki, Aerobics, Walking,
and other physical activities that challenge your body, clear
your mind, and feed your energy level. Recruit a friend. Once
started, it is easier done than said!
3. Celebrate yourself! Value your uniqueness; respect your accomplishments; forgive your
errors. Cherish the valuables you collect - your family, your
friends, your community. Do something each week that gives you
joy. When you oxygenate yourself first, you can truly take charge.
Linda A. Cipriano
Executive Director
YWCA of Greater Rhode Island
Your child comes home from school moody, angry, depressed, and withdrawn. Perhaps he or she begins to have difficulty getting up in the morning, has multiple physical complaints, and begins to avoid school altogether. Something feels wrong to you, but your child denies that there is a problem or perhaps tells you someone is “being mean” at school but implores you not to get involved. What is a parent to do? How seriously should your child’s behavioral change be taken? Is your child being bullied? If you ignore it, will it just go away?
Bullying at school is a common problem, and an episode occurs approximately once every seven minutes. Bullying is a behavior that is repetitive over time, based on an imbalance of power, and intended to harm and control another. Bullying can be seen as early as preschool, but occurs more frequently in second, fifth, seventh, and eighth grade.
There are three categories of bullying:
•Physical bullying is the easiest to identify and includes hitting, punching, kicking, spitting, pushing, or taking personal belongings.
•Verbal is the most common type of bullying and is very difficult to identify or prove. It includes malicious teasing, name-calling, and /or making threats.
•The third category of bullying is emotional or psychological bullying and includes cyber bullying, sexual harassment, extortion, and intimidation. In addition, relational violence, a particularly damaging type of emotional bullying, involves the manipulation of social relationships and the spreading of rumors. This relational violence is often seen in female-to-female relationships and disrupts or damages the development of social skills.
Generally, bullies often have high self-esteem, lack empathy for others, and have a positive attitude about violence as a means of problem solving. They are frequently rewarded for their actions by their peers with money, other gifts, or favors and may enjoy a level of prestige for their aggression.
Unfortunately, perpetrators, victims, and witnesses of bullying all suffer from the experience. Whether seen in the school hallway or on the internet, the impact of witnessing violence remains the same; witnesses suffer because of the anxiety, guilt, and helplessness they experience. Over time, bullies are more likely to be involved in domestic violence as well as being at risk for continuing patterns of generational violence. Victims often suffer from internalizing their feelings related to the violence and may have increased levels of anxiety, school absenteeism, and high risk taking behavior. They also have a higher incidence of depression, self-destructive, and suicidal behaviors
There are many resources available throughout the community to address the issues of bullies, victims, and witnesses. Beware of resources that downplay or minimize the effects of bullying on children. Bullying is a very serious issue and should not be dealt with lightly.
Judy Sheehan, RN, BSN, MSN, Director of Nursing Education, Butler Hospital
Helping Teens Cope with Stress
by Jennifer Dyl, Ph.D., Bradley Hospital, a Lifespan partner
Seventeen-year-old Marissa is juggling many roles. She has a demanding
part-time job, plays two varsity sports, is studying for the SAT's,
trying to decide where to go to college to pay for it. She also
has a term paper and an internet project due this week, needs
to find a date and a dress for the prom, is worried that she has
gained five pounds, and is afraid that her best friend is mad
at her. While Marissa used to feel confident and excited by life's
challenges, she has recently been feeling overwhelmed, out of
control and "stressed out." Marissa's story is typical of the
daily pressures teens face.
"Stress" is defined as the way our bodies and minds react to life
changes. Since adolescence is a period of significant change,
including physical, emotional, social, and academic changes, many
teens are under more stress than at any other time of life.
Teenage Stress Factors
* academic pressure and career decisions
* pressure to wear certain types of clothing or hairstyles
* pressure to try drugs, alcohol, or sex
* pressure to fit in with peer groups and measure up to others
* adaptation to bodily changes
* family and peer conflicts
* taking on too many activities at one time
It is very important for teens to learn to handle stress, as long-term
build-up of stress which is not handled effectively may lead to
problems including physical illness, anxiety or depression, which
call for professional help.
Teenage "Stress Overload" Signs
* increased physical illness (headaches, stomachaches, muscle pains,
chronic fatigue)
* "shutting down" and withdrawal from people and activities
* increased anger or irritable lashing out at others
* increased tearfulness and feelings of hopelessness
* chronic feelings of worry and nervousness
* difficulty sleeping and eating
* difficulty concentrating
Our body's natural reaction to life events we perceive as overwhelming
entails the "fight or flight" response, which may produce a faster
heart rate, increased blood flow, shallow breathing, a sense of
dread, and a desire to escape. However, teens can teach themselves
to perceive life challenges as within their control and can even
change their body's reactions to such events, promoting a lower
heart rate, deeper breathing, clearer thinking, and feelings of
calmness and control. There are many stress management skills
that promote the relaxation response.
Stress Management Skills for Teens
* Taking deep breaths, accompanied by thoughts of being in control
("I can handle this")
* Progressive muscle relaxation, (repeatedly tensing and relaxing
large muscles of the body)
* Setting small goals and breaking tasks into smaller manageable
"chunks"
* Exercising and eating regular meals; avoiding excessive caffeine
* Rehearsing and practicing feared situations (i.e., practicing
public speaking, asking someone out on a date ahead of time)
* Talking about problems with others, including parents, other adults,
and friends
* Lowering unrealistic expectations.
* Focusing on things you can control and letting go of things you
cannot control.
* Scheduling breaks and enjoyable activities, such as music, art,
sports, socializing
* Accepting yourself as you are. Identifying unique strengths and
building on them, but realizing no one is perfect!
The Promise Of Research
Amy Przeworski, Molly L. Choate-Summers, Jennifer Freeman, Abbe Garcia
What should I feed my child for breakfast? When should I worry about my child’s behavior? Parents often have questions about their children, and look to doctors for answers and guidance. Doctors do research to find out the answers. For some, the word “research” conjures up the thought of being someone’s test subject or guinea pig. For others, the word “research” brings to mind the excitement of future developments that can dramatically improve people’s lives. We witness the benefits of research every day, when we go to a dentist’s office, brush our teeth, drive a car, and play with our children.
It is only through research that progress is made, from state of the art treatments for cancer to environmentally friendly cars. But with research comes change, and for some, anxiety about an unknown outcome. It is this anxiety that may keep families from becoming involved in research.
However, it is important to know that the goal of research is to improve people’s lives. In fact, the most important aspect of research is the safety and wellbeing of each individual who participates. There are also many protections for research participants, including review boards, to ensure that research procedures minimize risk of harm and preserve privacy.
As consumers of research we are thankful for the new developments that make each day easier, save people’s lives, and allow society to progress. However, that progress does not happen unless someone asks the question and searches for the answer. By participating in research, we have the opportunity to be the answer to someone’s question tomorrow.l
The authors are researchers and therapists in child clinical psychology at Bradley-Hasbro Children’s Research Center and the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University.
Holistic Health care has grown so much over the years. Some modalities are becoming more common, like Yoga, while others may necessitate a little more research and exploration to understand its origins & benefits.
Holistically speaking, each person is comprised of unique notes of spirituality, physical makeup, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs that blend together in, of course, unique ways. Within a given family, its members may each present a different body type, blood type, energy level, and interests; moreover, what may benefit a parent may not benefit their child.
Often what motivates a person to seek alternative care is when an ailment is not resolved by traditional medical direction. For instance, Chiropractors are a common “first stop” for people with physical pain that is not helped through therapy or medication. While it may seem frustrating, it is important to work in tandem with your medical professionals. The tests provide an important baseline for whatever care you seek and a doctor’s guidance is invaluable.
We innately know that there are other ways to heal our body. The question becomes: where do we start when we have so many options? Start first with yourself. You ask your self “what is needed to heal?” Then you listen intuitively. Give yourself back the power to know what is best. We experience intuition in various ways such as getting a “gut feeling”, overhearing someone who says something that answers a concern you may have had, you see signs popping up unexpectedly, and more. Let go of the fear and trust yourself.
Sara is an intuitive person who is a teacher and healer as well as a mom. When her two-year-old son Mitchell contracted hives in February, she created a team that would best suit her son. She visited Mitchell’s Physician who ruled out some skin issues. She then met with a Pediatric allergist who ran some tests to rule out some allergies. She provided Reiki healing energy to his body. She used homemade all natural soap, and hypoallergenic detergent. While at the allergist recently, Sara felt she should have Mitchell tested for a gluten allergy. It wasn’t her doctors’ first instinct, but it was hers. Per Sara’s request, the test was administered and Mitchell was diagnosed with Ciliac’s disease (a wheat/ gluten allergy). Sara’s intuition guided Mitchell’s healing while the team that Sara and her husband created ensured that Mitchell’s health would be completely holistic.
Create your own team. Explore alternative health options that can work with you and your family in tandem with your medical professionals. Allow your intuition to speak to you and then listen and trust that you do know best. Just retrieving this power in yourself is healing. Our paths are truly the lessons that allow us to grow and expand. Challenge yourself to release the fear and take the first step to see the miracles that await you!l
Debbie Gleadow is a holistic professional, mother, and the initiator of the Children’s Holistic Collaborative. www.holistic-kids.net
Fresh ingredients and wholesome, natural produce are the raw materials that create a memorable food experience and you are never too young to appreciate or learn the joy of cooking.
Childhood obesity is a hot topic on the news these days. It is a rampant health issue that desperately needs to be addressed. Chubby children tend to turn into either overweight adults, suffering from diabetes or grow up with poor body image which may give rise to any number of emotional issues around food. But it doesn't have to be!
Children are a blank slate upon which we can write a menu for long term health and energy that can carry over into adulthood. A child knows what you teach them and you have the power to teach your child how to love healthy food and love themselves at the same time!
Take your child to your local farmer's market this summer (See Outdoor section for Farmer’s Markets and Pick Your Own Farms). There they can learn first hand where their food comes from. They can experience the riot of colors and smells and learn how to choose the best and tastiest foods themselves by color, feel and shape. There really is nothing as sweet as a fresh strawberry, warmed from the sun and fresh off the bush. There is nothing so satisfying as a plump juicy tomato picked at the height of its goodness in summer. Your child can learn that a marketplace is a place of vibrant activity, exchange and community. A trip to the farmer's market can instill a respect for the earth and ecology.
Bring your child into the kitchen. Here they can learn how to measure and mix (mathematics and chemistry), and learn to develop a sense of pride and accomplishment as they contribute to the family's meal. Create happy memories of food with your child and they will become healthy, strong and discerning adults with wonderful memories of the family table for years to come.l
Kate McGeough offers her personal chef services from Kate's Kitchen. Call 744-7281 for a free consultation.
Your Child & The ER
Choosing Quality Childcare
Bioterrorism
Helping Your Little Worrier
The Stress of Parenting
Raising Resilient Children
Foster Care
Taking Care of Yourself First
Know Your Public Schools
Bullying and Harrassment
Helping Teens Cope With Stress
The Promise of Research
Holistic Health
Kids in Kate's Kitchen
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